PEP TALK.

Written By: Nemat Khan

Pep talk.

You got this. Don’t focus on the people who won’t check up on you, who hurt you with or in the absence of their words. The only person who can truly make you move, and shape you into a better person is yourself. 

Tell yourself, "I will TRY MY BEST to get work in".

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Don’t focus on the negativity that will cloud your own efficiency. It will always be there. But train yourself on moving past those initial thoughts, emotions and state of being. This is what determines how much you will accomplish today. 

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Forget about tomorrow until it becomes your today. Focus on your today and its moments. 

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If you want to change your environment, change yourself first. Change how you react to certain/any situation(s), change your self-image. 

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Be calm, be calm.

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Learn to stay silent, but not quiet from injustice. 

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Trust the process. 

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Believe in yourself. 

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Stay strong, exhale.

THE STIGMA OF RECEIVING ODSP

Written By: Cailee McKay

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September 8, 2017

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            There are two things I am grudgingly admitting in this piece. One, the word stigma in any situation I associate myself with. Anyone who knows me, even just casually knows that I have mental illness, and that I couldn’t care less about it. Like, you could try really hard to get a rise out of me but you wont, because I am medicated, see a therapist, and am living my best life these days. The second, is that I am one of those “drains on society” who is a part of the Ontario Disability Support Program, and have been for one whole year.

            Before you all roll your eyes and think that I’m a spoiled person who’s playing the victim game, because I receive monthly checks from the government, hear me out. I have been mentally ill my whole life, as long as I can remember. And I have struggled. It was only after the second time I landed myself in the psych ward that I heard about ODSP. I was in the middle of a vicious divorce, had moved to a new city while already suffering with anorexia nervosa, obsessive compulsive disorder, and undiagnosed bipolar disorder. Oh, and I was working my first job ever while entering a brand new high school for grade thirteen. I was in the middle of trying my sixth medication, that was making my symptoms worse and my mom and  I could barely afford to eat. At this time, my NP suggested that I see a therapist. I desperately wanted to but, as I said, we could barely afford to eat, let alone dole out the money for a therapist. And that’s when she suggested I apply for ODSP.

            I laughed at first because I knew how difficult it was to be accepted to the program while claiming that your disability was a mental illness. I had heard of many people being denied time after time.  So I didn’t take it seriously until two years ago in March while I was crying in my bed in the psych ward.

            The only person who was supportive of my decision to reach out to the program was my NP, who I am so incredibly grateful for, all the time. Everyone else thought I was being dramatic, and did not believe that I really had any disability. Completely alone, like everything I did that horrible year in a city full of people I didn’t know and with nobody to hold my hand, I went to collect every resource on the situation that I could. I called the program and they told me they would send me a large package of info that I would need to fill out.

            Large was an understatement. I needed countless letters from doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists and a full copy of my mental health file.  After three months, I had everything I needed and sent it off, praying that I would be accepted. I had to quit my job at a grocery store because my anxiety was so bad I cried every day before and after work. Working in customer service just doesn’t work when you’re severely mentally ill.

            Almost six months later I received the letter in the mail that literally brought me to my knees at the condominium mailbox. I had been accepted.  I cried so hard that day. I spent so many nights embarrassed and hating myself for even thinking of applying. I wanted to take the application back and tell everyone who told me no that they were right.

            The fact is, though, that mental illness IS A DISABILITY. It literally has “illness” in the name. It isn’t called “Mental Fun Time.”

            Without the money, I would 100% be another statistic in the world of mentally ill people. With the money, I have been able to consistently see my therapist, who helps me more than anything else. With the money, I can afford my medications. With the money, I can support myself as I study psychology in a university setting. If I didn’t have the money that ODSP provides for me, I would not be where I am today.

            The really sad part about this whole situation is the misunderstanding that people have about this. I cannot begin to tell you how many times people have referred to my money as “my monthly tugboat” and that I am “riding on the back of the working class” (these are actual things people have said to me, right to my face before.) So here is my helpful list of questions to consider before judging someone who receives government aid:

            1: Is it really my business to make a verbal judgment about the way someone else lives?

            2: Perhaps mental illness IS really a disability and I just haven’t understood to what extent it affects people?

            3: Is it really necessary for me to be rude to this person I just found out receives government aid?

            4: Am I a perfect person in a position to judge?

            5: Maybe I’m just hangry and need a snickers, rather than engaging in hurtful rhetoric towards someone whom the government itself has deemed worthy of their stringent guidelines for support?

            6: Maybe it’s so 2007 to be mean to someone?

            7: Perhaps I myself should change the way that employers view mentally ill employees and also the structure of the mental health system so that this person need not depend on government aid?

            8: Have I had a good heart to heart with Jesus lately?

            9: Maybe if I don’t fully understand why this person receives money, I should just politely ask the person to explain to me how it works?

            10: Perhaps this person does not swim in a solid gold bathtub full of money that the government gives her? Perhaps she uses it to purchase the extra expenses that are inherent in the ethical treatment of mental illness?